I am a human, my gender is female.
My hair is bluish-black and skin is pale.
I can say I am alive, but only physically.
Feelings are dead, there is no sympathy.
Over the times battle scars got deeper.
Becoming tired inside,
my soul is crippled.
All good I touch becomes filth.
Conscience goes blank without guilt.
With pain of my bleeding heart,
I suffered constantly, I suffered to much.
No way to describe it unless you share same fate.
Imagining better world on the end of the rails.
Someone will notice and give you a hand.
You persuade yourself there is still some hope,
but future tailored paths of past again,
covered with mystic fog.
''Hey my dear all mighty God!
Where are you now?
Saving some hungry children
or sharing a peace and justice?
I can't hear you,
do you even care?
You left me too,
I am very scared.''
Sitting defeated in the big dark room,
holding my favorite black pen,
on clean sheet of paper,
I'm scrabbling death.
I'm desperate, I know I'm wasting my time,
weeping for my past, I'm braking down.
It is crucial moment for suicidal ritual of death.
But faster than I managed to put blade in my wrist,
arrow of pure darkness pierced my chest.
Ripping a paper of shame with anger,
awakened, getting up by my savior.
I can hear your voice!
I can feel your force!
Of course you do.
I am you!
Berried deeply inside your skull.
Waiting for you to open your mind.
I've been calling you all this time.
But you've occupied your thoughts,
you ignored my calls, but I was fateful.
Your only real life guardian angel.
Before I've been turned in to stone,
life didn't show me a good side.
I was different, cold from the start.
People didn't like it,
They made me cry.
I was also peaceful, harmless.
But they needed to poke the weak.
Now the weak hails song of death.
Now the weak one starts the fight.
Revenge becomes my new me,
hatred and darkness put their seed.
Cursing the people who destroyed my faith,
one by one with no remorse, death sins I brake.
No enemy stayed on the ground.
Every living parasite felt down,
right on their knees begged for grace.
But they didn't deserved to be spared.
No one sees me because I stayed invisible,
nothing changed, nobody didn't cared anyway.
My family only felt that I was different,
they called me feeling less monster.
I didn't show them scars,